"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
I woke up 104 b’glock this morning before the sun was even up, rolled a joint and made some tea. Put on the leggings and a big cozy sweater, grabbed the beanie and made sure I had another joint for the road. My girl friend picked me up at 7am to go downtown to the Los Angeles Convention Center. Why the fuck were you up so early? (You may ask. I know I did, several times.) The only way you’ll ever see me up at 6am is because I’ve stayed up until then, I’m having sex, or… DRUMROLL PLEASE..
The Barney’s Warehouse Sale.
That’s right. That shit is serious. If you’ve never been, let me describe it for you. It’s a giant warehouse full of fantastically marked down couture like $3000 Nina Ricci and Dolce & Gabana dresses, amazing ready-to-wear like Mark Jacobs, Diane Von Furstenburg, and an array of the best shoes in the world like Louboutin , Blahnik, Prada and more. Women start lining up at the ass crack of dawn, grab trash bags and fight each other to the death for the latest Marni teeshirt. So basically it’s heaven on Earth. AND I WAS GOING THERE.
We battle rain and slush puddles and traffic, finally getting to the Convention Center at 7:30am only to find out that the Sale doesn’t even open until 10am. There wasn't anyone there but us. Oops! This was my fault, darling, so I’m so sorry! We made the best of it though, walking in the rain 5 blocks like true New Yorkers, and had a spot of breakfast at a landmark diner The Pantry Café.
“Oh fuck! They have biscuits and gravy here?!” I accidentally yelled loudly enough for the neighboring table to shoot me some nasty looks. I laughed and gleefully ordered the $4.35 gravy covered breakfast dish. Uhh.. Yum.
Later at the sale, I thought I was going to lose my mind. Everywhere I looked there were sequins and feathers and silk! I just ran through the racks touching everything and dancing. And still nobody was there! I don’t know if it was the rain or the fact that the Sale has been open for a week, or maybe it’s because it changed location. For the first hour, it was just me and my friend! I knew that if I kept wishing on a star, someday that shit would come through. Did I mention that I smoked that other joint on the way back from the diner?
After that I had a rehearsal for acting class and then spent the evening watching So You Think You Can Dance reruns and eating cookies.
I think this might be the best day ever. And it’s weird… today I fully recognized the thought that I could be single. I could be alone and be okay. I know the things that make me happ. I don't need a boyfriend; I have weed and shopping.
For more pictures from my Barney's adventure, check out my facebook page; for cookie eating footage, check out my youtube channel. :)
For more pictures from my Barney's adventure, check out my facebook page; for cookie eating footage, check out my youtube channel. :)
